Grief That Won’t Go Away: What to Know About Prolonged Grief Disorder

Grief is a deeply human experience. When we lose a loved one, the emotional pain can be overwhelming, confusing, and at times, paralyzing. Most people expect grief to gradually ease—but sometimes, it doesn’t. If your grief feels like it just won’t let up, you might be experiencing what’s known as prolonged grief disorder (PGD), previously referred to as complicated grief.

PGD is now recognized as a real mental disorder in the DSM-5—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders published by the American Psychiatric Association—and it’s more common than you might think. A 2021 study found the prevalence of prolonged grief disorder in bereaved adults to be around 10% worldwide, with higher rates among those experiencing traumatic or sudden loss.

In this article, we’ll talk about:

• What is prolonged grief disorder?

• The difference between bereavement and prolonged grief

• Common symptoms and causes

• How to treat prolonged grief disorder

If you've lost a loved one and your grief feels like it's taken over your life, you’re not broken—and you’re not alone. Let’s walk through this together.

What Is Prolonged Grief Disorder?

Grieving the loss of a loved one is never easy—and there’s no one-size-fits-all way to do it. For many people, the waves of grief soften over time, allowing space for healing. But sometimes, the grief doesn’t fade. It stays stuck. That’s when we might be looking at something called prolonged grief disorder.

Grief vs. Prolonged Grief: What’s the Difference?

We all respond to loss in our own way, but there’s a distinction between normal grief and prolonged grief disorder. Normal grief comes in waves and tends to lessen over time, even if the pain never fully disappears. Prolonged grief disorder involves intense emotional pain that lasts beyond 12 months (or 6 months for kids), and doesn’t seem to get better. You may feel unable to accept the loss, or like life is meaningless without the person who died.

Bereavement vs. Prolonged Grief Disorder

Bereavement is a natural and expected grief response to the death of a loved one. It doesn’t mean something is “wrong.” Prolonged grief disorder, on the other hand, is when that grief doesn’t ease over time and starts interfering with daily life. 

It’s important to remember: if you're feeling stuck, you're not failing. Prolonged grief disorder in adults is a real diagnosis—and there are ways to treat it with care, compassion, and evidence-based support.

Additional Reading: You might also want to read about Preparing for a Loss: How to Cope with the Emotions of Anticipatory Grief.

Causes and Symptoms of Prolonged Grief Disorder

The American Psychiatric Association lists clear criteria for PGD in the DSM-5. If you're still struggling with intense emotional pain over the loss of a loved one—well beyond what most people experience—you may be facing prolonged grief symptoms.

Here are common signs and symptoms of prolonged grief disorder:

• Intense yearning or longing for the person who died

• Difficulty accepting the loss, even after many months

• Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected from others

• Persistent feeling that life is meaningless without them

• Avoiding reminders of the person because the pain is too sharp

• Trouble functioning in everyday life—work, relationships, self-care

• Believing the grief will never get better

These grief symptoms usually last longer than 12 months for adults and 6 months for children and can cause significant distress or impairment in daily life.

What Causes Prolonged or Extended Grief to Happen?

There’s no one-size-fits-all explanation. Some people are more vulnerable to persistent complex bereavement disorder based on life history or the nature of the loss.

Common risk factors and causes include:

• Traumatic or sudden death of a loved one (e.g., suicide, accident)

• Lack of closure or unresolved issues in the relationship with the deceased

• High emotional dependence on the person who died

• Social isolation or lack of support groups

• History of major depressive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, or other diagnoses

Certain therapeutic approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure therapy can help you gradually adapt to the loss and reconnect with life—without erasing your love for the person who died.

Additional Reading: Learn What Is Disenfranchised Grief? And Why It Deserves to Be Seen.

How to Treat Prolonged Grief Disorder

When considering how to treat prolonged grief disorder, several evidence-based therapies have shown promise:

• Prolonged Grief Disorder Therapy: This structured, evidence-based approach is specifically designed to address the intense, persistent symptoms of PGD. It often includes elements like processing the loss, restoring a sense of purpose, and helping individuals reconnect with life while honoring their loved one. Research has shown that this type of targeted therapy can significantly reduce symptoms and support long-term healing.

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): ACT encourages individuals to accept their grief-related thoughts and feelings while committing to actions that align with their values. This approach has been effective in helping people adapt to loss and move forward.

It's essential to work with a therapist experienced in grief and loss, as they can provide a compassionate space to explore your feelings and guide you through the healing process.

Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. With the right support, you can navigate the complexities of grief and rediscover a sense of meaning and connection in your life.

Additional Reading: This might also be helpful - Grief: When Should I Reach Out?

When Grief Doesn’t Let Go: It Doesn’t Mean Something’s Wrong With You

If your grief has lasted longer than you expected—or longer than those around you seem to understand—it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Persistent grief isn’t a failure. It’s a sign that your loss meant something deeply personal. This doesn’t mean your grief is “too much.” It means your pain matters enough to deserve real support.

Here are some gentle self-care practices to help support your healing:

• Honor your grief—it’s valid, no matter how long it lasts.

• Talk about your loss, even if it’s been months or years.

• Spend time in nature or quiet spaces that help you feel grounded.

• Join a support group—hearing others' stories can offer comfort.

• Work with a therapist trained in Prolonged Grief Disorder Therapy and treatment for prolonged grief disorder.

There’s no rush to “move on.” But there is a path to moving forward—with the memory, and with your life.

Still Grieving After a Loss? Let’s Talk — I’m Here to Help

If you’re struggling with a loss that just won’t ease, please know this: there is help.

I work with people who feel stuck in intense grief, weighed down by symptoms of depression, grief reactions, or even posttraumatic stress disorder following the death of a loved one. Using  Prolonged Grief Disorder Therapy (PGDT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), I help clients work through the emotional pain that lingers long after end-of-life care has ended.

Whether you’re navigating the diagnosis of PGD or just wondering if your grief may fit the diagnostic criteria for prolonged grief, I offer a safe space to explore your healing at your own pace.

If you’re ready to begin grief counseling—or even just curious—reach out. Together, we’ll work toward relief, growth, and meaning. You don’t have to carry this alone.