Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts: A Kind Guide to Finding Peace
You’ve probably landed here because an intrusive thought popped up out of nowhere, maybe violent, maybe sexual, maybe just downright uncomfortable, and it left you wondering, “Why would I think that?” Let’s take a breath together. You’re not alone, and these thoughts don’t define who you are.
Intrusive thoughts can feel scary, confusing, and even shameful. But here’s the truth: unwanted intrusive thoughts are incredibly common. Everyone has intrusive thoughts, and they often show up more when you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed. They might be associated with OCD, anxiety disorders, postpartum depression, or just the general hum of anxiety and stress.
This gentle guide is here to help you understand and manage those moments when your mind feels like the enemy. Inside, you’ll find:
What are intrusive thoughts
Are intrusive thoughts normal?
Examples of intrusive thoughts (including sexual and violent ones)
How to stop intrusive thoughts and find peace
You’ll also learn how therapy can support you in managing and treating obsessive thoughts, repetitive behaviors, and the distress or anxiety they bring.
If these thoughts are getting in the way of your life, help is available. I’m here to walk with you, without judgment, toward a calmer mind and a fuller life.
What are some tips for managing intrusive thoughts?
Start by noticing the thought without judgment. Ground yourself, breathe, and gently shift your focus. Over time, therapy can help you respond to these thoughts with less fear and more clarity.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Let’s start with a deep breath. If you’ve ever been going about your day and suddenly had a disturbing, weird, or even violent thought flash through your mind, you’re not broken. You’re human.
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that seem to come out of nowhere. They can be upsetting, confusing, and totally out of character. The key word is unwanted. These aren’t thoughts you choose, they’re thoughts that barge in uninvited.
Maybe you’ve experienced something like:
A random thought about swerving into traffic
A sudden mental image of yelling something offensive at a loved one
A sexual thought that makes you feel ashamed or uncomfortable
A fear you’ll harm someone, even though you never would
These types of thoughts are often accompanied by a spike of anxiety and distress, especially when they feel morally wrong or totally out of sync with your values.
Here’s what I want you to know:
Having intrusive thoughts does not mean you’re dangerous. It means you’re noticing your thoughts.
In fact, the very distress they cause often shows just how much those ideas don’t align with who you are.
What Causes Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are part of how the brain processes fear, stress, and uncertainty. They can pop up during times of transition, grief, trauma, sleep deprivation, or chronic stress. While these thoughts are common, they may become more intense or frequent when connected to underlying mental health disorders.
Some of the most common conditions that can cause intrusive thoughts include:
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) – where thoughts or urges feel stuck in a loop with compulsions or rituals
Depression and OCD – these often overlap, and intrusive thoughts may fuel feelings of guilt or shame
Anxiety disorders – including generalized anxiety, PTSD, and panic disorder
Perinatal mental health conditions – especially postpartum anxiety or OCD, where images that are intrusive often center around a baby’s safety
People who may have intrusive thoughts linked to OCD often experience symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder like:
Repeating the same thought or checking behavior
Avoiding certain situations for fear of acting on a thought
Feeling intense distress over thoughts or urges that go against one’s values
It’s important to know that thoughts are associated with emotional activation, not intent. Having an intrusive thought doesn’t mean you’ll act on it.
If you’re wondering whether you may experience intrusive thoughts as part of something bigger, get help. A qualified therapist can help you find mental health support that’s compassionate, personalized, and focused on lasting relief.
Are Intrusive Thoughts Normal?
The short answer? Yes. Intrusive thoughts are much more common than most people realize. In fact, if you’ve ever had a strange or upsetting thought flash across your mind and thought, “Wait, why would I think that?” … welcome to the club. You’re human.
So why do these thoughts happen?
Here’s a simple way to understand it:
Your brain is a meaning-making machine. It constantly filters information, predicts outcomes, and scans for threat. When you’re under stress or feeling anxious, that system goes into overdrive. Sometimes that means your brain throws a strange or upsetting thought into the mix, not because it’s true or intentional, but because your mind is trying (clumsily) to keep you alert.
You might be more likely to notice or fixate on those thoughts if you:
Tend to overthink or ruminate
Have a naturally anxious or cautious temperament
Are going through major life stress or loss
Grew up in a strict or highly moral environment
Instead of trying to push intrusive thoughts away, we gently shift how we relate to them. At the heart of it all is compassion. When we meet our thoughts with curiosity instead of fear, something powerful starts to happen. We begin to loosen their grip and reclaim our peace.
How do you stop intrusive thoughts?
You don’t have to “stop” them to find relief. Instead, you can learn to relate to them differently, through CBT, mindfulness, and other tools that help reduce their power over time.
Examples of Intrusive Thoughts
Let’s get something clear right away: intrusive thoughts often feel vivid, intense, and deeply uncomfortable. That’s what makes them so distressing. But their intensity doesn’t make them true, and it definitely doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
You might be here because you’ve had a moment like one of these:
A sudden image of pushing someone in front of a train, even though the idea horrifies you
An intrusive thought that you might hurt your child, even though you love them deeply
A flash of a sexual image that feels disturbing or out of character
A religious thought that feels blasphemous or wrong
An urge to yell something inappropriate during a quiet moment - at work, church, or even a funeral
Intrusive thoughts may feel overwhelming, but they are not dangerous on their own. In fact, the distress you feel is often a sign of your values. Feeling disgusted, scared, or ashamed by an intrusive sexual thought or violent image usually means it goes against who you are. That discomfort is not proof you’re broken; it’s proof you care.
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, people experience intrusive thoughts across all walks of life. Some research shows that 94% of people have had at least one intrusive thought.
OCD symptoms often include obsessions and compulsions, where people feel driven to “neutralize” a thought by repeating a behavior. Other times, these thoughts just come and go without explanation, tied to underlying mental health factors like stress, trauma, or hormonal changes.
Whether your mind pulls up images you wish you could unsee or urges that feel totally out of character, you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself. The good news is, there are ways to quiet the noise and ease the grip these thoughts have on your life.
How to Stop Intrusive Thoughts
If we could just flip a switch and stop intrusive thoughts, we all would. But managing them isn’t about force or control. It’s about learning a different way to relate to your mind, one that’s grounded in gentleness, awareness, and the tools that actually work.
We've already established that intrusive thoughts or images often show up in response to anxiety and stress disorders, past trauma, or even just everyday overwhelm. Trying to suppress them? That tends to backfire. In fact, research shows that trying to avoid unwanted thoughts often makes them come back stronger.
Instead, let’s walk through a few ways to respond to those uncomfortable thoughts more skillfully and with more kindness.
🧠 Notice Without Wrestling
The first step is to notice the thought without diving into it or trying to shut it down.
Try saying to yourself:
“Ah, there’s that intrusive thought again. I see you.”
You don’t have to analyze it, react to it, or prove it wrong. Just naming it takes away some of its power.
💛 Practice Self-Compassion, Not Criticism
When sexual intrusive thoughts or other distressing images show up, your first instinct might be to shame yourself. Instead, try this:
“This feels scary and that’s okay. I’m here for myself.”
Compassion isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength that helps you manage intrusive thoughts without feeding them.
🌱 Redirect or Gently Shift Attention
Rather than obsessing or reacting, try grounding techniques:
Splash cold water on your face
Look around and name five things you see
Breathe in for four, out for six
These help bring you back to the present, right here, right now.
🧰 Create a “Thought Toolkit”
Build a list of simple tools to keep on hand:
Write down the thought and label it: “just a thought”
Use a grounding phrase: “This is uncomfortable, but it will pass”
Keep a visual reminder of safety nearby (a photo, object, or quote)
🙋♂️ Seek Professional Guidance When Needed
If these thoughts are getting in the way of your life or if you’re dealing with symptoms of OCD, suicidal thoughts, or intense distress, please don’t go it alone. You may have OCD, depression, or another mental health condition that responds to treatment.
Therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are backed by research and recommended by the National Institute of Mental Health.
As a mental health professional, I’ve seen how these tools can help people feel lighter, clearer, and more in control. You don’t have to “get rid of intrusive thoughts” to find peace. You just need a new way to relate to them.
Are intrusive thoughts part of OCD or anxiety?
They can show up in both. Intrusive thoughts are common in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety disorders, though not everyone who experiences them has a diagnosis.
Finding Peace with Time and Support
Here’s something I remind my clients often: peace isn’t something we stumble into; it’s something we build, piece by piece. And it’s okay if it takes time.
When intrusive thoughts show up, they can shake your sense of safety, or even your sense of self. But over time, and with the right support, you can find your way back to clarity, calm, and confidence.
There’s no finish line you have to cross. No perfect version of you waiting to emerge. Just small, steady moments where you begin to feel a little more like yourself again.
Peace starts with everyday practices that gently shift your relationship with your mind:
Journaling – not to solve anything, but to name what’s true and give your thoughts space to breathe
Mindful pauses – taking 60 seconds to ground yourself in the present
Movement – walking, stretching, or any physical rhythm that helps your body regulate
Community – talking to someone who gets it, even if it’s just one trusted friend
Self-education – reading about intrusive thoughts, listening to mental health podcasts, or following therapists you trust
None of these tools are magic. But used consistently, they help you rewire the fear-loop that intrusive thoughts often create. They help you feel less hijacked and more anchored.
And if you hit a setback? That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Healing is rarely linear. Some days will be harder than others, but that doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made.
What matters most is this: you don’t have to do it alone.
Real, lasting change happens in relationships, with people you trust, and with professionals who understand what you’re walking through. It happens not through perfection, but through connection, compassion, and courage.
You’re not meant to “fix” yourself. You’re meant to heal slowly, steadily, and with support that actually sticks.
You deserve that. And it’s absolutely possible.
Ready to Feel Lighter? Let’s Take That First Step Together
If anxiety and intrusive thoughts have been making life feel tangled or overwhelming, it’s okay to reach out for support; you weren’t meant to carry it all by yourself. Therapy can help you respond differently, feel less stuck, and slowly reclaim the calm you’ve been craving.
In our work together, I use a thoughtful blend of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), approaches backed by science and grounded in compassion. You’ll learn what anxiety is, why it shows up, and how to gently shift your relationship with it. Together, we’ll build skills that help anxiety loosen its grip, not just for now, but long term.
If you’re ready to feel more like yourself again, I’d be honored to walk alongside you.
👉 Learn more about how I treat anxiety one step at a time, at your pace. Reach out!
